no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
