I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
