Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
