Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
