PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
