I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
