I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
