I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
