Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
