she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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