I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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