I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
