But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
