we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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