Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
