Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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