it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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