I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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