Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
