Can Purell be used as lube?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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