meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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