Just cropdusted the office
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
