we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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