i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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