Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
