well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You dont lie about slip and slides
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
