Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
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I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize