ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Help me help you realize you are a moron
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize