You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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