if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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