i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize