Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
