Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
