Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize