I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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