They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
