toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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