Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
