It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
