I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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