smell my finger.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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