Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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