Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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