You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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