did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
