I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
