I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
