i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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