Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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