im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
