Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
