How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
