Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
