I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
