I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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