i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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