from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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