I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
