Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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