By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
