you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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