last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
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Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
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HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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