I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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