apparently the secret to your success is patron
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
